ソフィアさんの おぼえた日記 - 2011年4月13日(水)

I practice the belly dance, which comes from Arab countries, to keep in shape.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOMtF6irGNg

This dance can train inner muscles, and you will get a good figure.
You can also enjoy dancing, and let off steam.
I recommend this dance to every woman.
To men, enjoy watching this fascinating dance!

ベリーダンスはウエストが引き締まりますよ！

今日は５時起きはできなかったけど、まあ、また明日から頑張ろう！


【昨日の日記】
添削前：
I'm studying jazz and English.
Studying jazz is like studying foreign languages.
They have a lot in common.

The musical theory is grammar.
Chords and scales are words and phrases.
To practice playing is pronunciation drills.

I'd like to improve both of them.


添削後：
To practice playing is TO DRILL pronunciation.

to～で揃えたほうがリズムもいいですね。

他の方から、文章をもっとまとめたほうがいい、とアドバイスがありました。
その例：
"I'm studying jazz and English, and they have a lot in common. Studying jazz is like studying foreign languages, where musical theory is grammar, Chords and scales are words and phrases, and practices are pronunciation drills."

こういう風に書けると、上級者に近づく感じがする。
このwhereの使い方なんて、さすがネイティブ。
５トレは短い文ばかりだから、他にもっと長い文も読むようにしないとね。